


don't stare (i've got feelings for you)

by SJAandDWfan



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, aka alyssa is Strong and emma is Gay, american ninja warrior au, does it count as a slow burn if its a one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 02:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20369173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SJAandDWfan/pseuds/SJAandDWfan
Summary: The atmosphere was electric, and Emma didn’t like it.The bright lights, and the multiple big cameras, and the general smell of testosterone in the air were all things that made her really not want to be here. The people that surrounded her, too, were loud and energetic and way more extraverted than Emma thought was possible. Even with her headphones on and Hozier playing in her ears, the world outside her tiny bubble was too noisy.She didn’t know why she’d expected anything different from an American Ninja Warrior taping.oremma gets dragged along to anw by her superfan grandma and instantly starts crushing on a certain competitor





	don't stare (i've got feelings for you)

**Author's Note:**

> so this was a complete labour of love, and i had total writers' block until yesterday. then i wrote two thirds of this fic in two days so... who knows. let the record show i also lost my planning document but honestly i kind of like winging it.
> 
> i don't know how this fic ended up so long. it was meant to be a fun little one shot. oh well. also, i made a little change and wrote it all from emma's 3rd person perspective instead of alternating, just to try it out :)
> 
> title from "happy not knowing" by carly rae jepsen
> 
> enjoy!

The atmosphere was electric, and Emma didn’t like it.

The bright lights, and the multiple big cameras, and the general smell of testosterone in the air were all things that made her _really _not want to be here. The people that surrounded her, too, were loud and energetic and way more extraverted than Emma thought was possible. Even with her headphones on and Hozier playing in her ears, the world outside her tiny bubble was too noisy.

She didn’t know why she’d expected anything different from an _American Ninja Warrior _taping.

But her grandma was a huge fan of the show and as soon as she’d heard that Indianapolis was going to be one of the qualifying venues this season, she’d insisted on not only going to watch, but on dragging Emma along with her. Emma loved her grandma more than anything in the world, she really did, but she was nineteen now and was perfectly capable of staying in the house alone.

Of course, Betsy’s reason for bringing Emma was technically so she didn’t have to drive herself home at four in the morning, which was understandable. Still, Emma had no interest whatsoever in which egotistical muscle man could run the course fastest without a shirt on. She doubted she’d have any interest in that even if she wasn’t a lesbian.

Emma felt her headphones being removed from her ears, and she looked up from her phone to see her grandma looking at her expectantly.

“What?”

“They’re running the first of the walk-on winners,” she said. “They’ll need more crowd support than the big names.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but she got to her feet all the same. There, standing on the starting platform, was a girl. She looked younger than most of the people who had competed so far tonight, and a lot more focused. While other athletes had been playing to the crowds, this girl just stood still as the commentators began her introduction, staring intently at the first obstacle.

“Our next competitor is a rookie, which means she’s making her first appearance on _American Ninja Warrior_,” one of the commentators said.

“She won a coveted spot in the competition through a lottery system,” the other informed the audience. “But if she does well tonight then next year she might be selected in advance, so there’s all to play for.”

“And having just turned nineteen years of age, she’s tonight’s youngest competitor,” the first man said, clearly impressed. “From right here in Indianapolis, please welcome to the course… Alyssa Greene!”

Emma clapped along with the rest of the crowd, watching the screens as they focused in on Alyssa at the start line. The first thing Emma noticed about her was that she hadn’t reacted at all to her introduction, continuing to look straight ahead of her determinedly. The second thing Emma noticed about her was that she was probably the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen.

She had deep brown eyes, narrowed in concentration, and curly dark hair gathered in a ponytail to keep it out of her face. She was dressed in black gym leggings and a purple tank top, which showed off toned arms and strong shoulders. She didn’t look to be that tall – if Emma had to guess, she’d say Alyssa was probably a fraction shorter than her, but what she lacked in height she looked as if she made up for in strength.

Suddenly a lot more interested in the events of the night, Emma watched as Alyssa got her countdown, springing into action as soon as she was allowed.

Alyssa burst into a sprint towards the first obstacle, which looked to be five ascending isolated steps that got progressively narrower and narrower. Alyssa strode across them, making the distance between each step easily, before leaping off the last one to grab a red rope and swinging out over the water tank to the landing area.

“Alyssa Greene breezes through the Shrinking Steps,” one of the commentators said. “But now she faces the first real challenge – the upper body test at Off the Hook.”

This ‘Off the Hook’ obstacle was an odd-looking one; comprised of two swinging arms quite a long distance apart over the next water tank, each with a peg sticking out of it. On the first peg there was a ring, which Alyssa took hold of with both hands. She rocked back on her heels before pushing off from the platform and swinging forwards.

“Taking an extra swing on the first part of this obstacle,” one of the commentators said. “She’s lighter than a lot of the field competing tonight so it may take her a little longer to build up enough momentum to make the transfer.”

On the next swing, Alyssa – keeping hold of the ring with both hands – kipped her body up and jumped to the next arm. The peg on this arm was a lot longer, but it was angled differently, and Emma watched on the screen as Alyssa changed the direction of the ring to land safely. The second arm was set in motion, and Alyssa let go of the ring and jumped to safety.

The crowd, clearly more interested in this new face now that she’d gotten the first real challenge out of the way, cheered for her. Alyssa didn’t pay them any attention, only allowing a tiny smile to cross her face briefly as she stared down the third obstacle. Emma had seen it on television for years: Block Run.

According to Betsy, a lot of competitors hated the balance obstacles, and Emma could see why. The blocks were all different sizes, and they were angled in different directions, making it hard to pick a path across even if the blocks didn’t spin when you stepped on them wrong. Emma found herself getting nervous on Alyssa’s behalf.

Alyssa took a deep breath before exploding into a powerful sprint, running straight across the top of the blocks with only one minor stumble. Emma clapped along with everyone else, craning her head as Alyssa started to get closer to where Emma was stood in the stands. Betsy had insisted on being by the fifth obstacle, which was as close to the Warped Wall as they’d been able to get.

“Now Alyssa Greene faces the Bouncing Spider,” one of the commentators announced. Emma still had no idea what their names were. “She’s gotta land in the chute, work her way through it, and then drop to the trampoline and grab that pipe on the other side.”

The obstacle looked ridiculously complicated to Emma, but it didn’t seem to bother Alyssa. She jumped from the springboard, throwing her arms and legs out to the side to secure herself in the chute. She made her way through it relatively quickly, pausing at the other end to survey her landing.

“Now, there’s a white dot on that trampoline,” the commentary kept coming. “She needs to be landing on that dot to give herself the best chance of grabbing that pipe and making it to the other side.”

Alyssa let herself drop, and she was gone from Emma’s sight. A split-second later, she reappeared, grabbing the pipe with her hands and wrapping her legs around it. She clambered to the platform on the other side, a grin on her face. Clearly, she’d been worried about that one.

“She’s good,” Betsy commented from next to Emma. “Really good.”

“Yeah,” Emma said, a little breathless just from watching.

Alyssa was a lot closer to them now, at the start of the fifth obstacle. She looked up at it; two giant circles with swinging handles around the face of them. This obstacle was new; named The Ferris Wheels, and it was easy to see why. From what little attention Emma had paid so far, the objective was to climb hand over hand around the top of each wheel, and when you got to a certain handle, then the wheel would spin.

“Now, she can go around the bottom of these wheels, but it looks like she’s taking the top route,” one of the commentators reported, as Alyssa began to climb.

Through the clear plexiglass, Emma watched the muscles in her arms move as she made her way around the first wheel. Her elbows were bent, which was how the better athletes had been doing it. Emma had noticed that the ones whose arms had straightened out tended to fall into the water below.

As soon as Alyssa reached the top, the wheel began to turn. Alyssa pulled herself upwards even more to cushion the jolt when the wheel stopped, and the crowd cheered when she hung on tight to the handle with both hands.

“It’s quite a long reach for her to the second wheel,” a commentator said worriedly.

“But she makes it!” the second one said.

Alyssa repeated the process on the second wheel, making it look far easier than most people had to this point. She was the thirtieth or so person to run, but there’d only been a few finishers so far. And as Alyssa landed on the crash mat after the Ferris Wheels, she was one more obstacle away from joining them.

The chant of “beat that wall” started up, and Emma found herself actually joining in for the first time. Alyssa brushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes, shaking out her arms as she rocked back and forth on her heels. There was an eighteen foot Mega Wall that she didn’t seem to want to bother with, despite the prize money for making it up, and instead lined up for the fourteen and a half foot regular wall.

Emma crossed her fingers.

Alyssa ran at the wall, taking three long strides as she hit the upwards curve and stretching out her hands. The fingers of her right hand curled around the lip of the wall, hanging on for dear life. For a second, it looked as if she might fall, but then Alyssa was bringing her other hand to join it and pulling herself up.

Emma jumped up and down, completely forgetting herself, as Alyssa clambered to her feet and slammed her hand down on the red buzzer at the top of the wall. A klaxon sounded as the crowd erupted, and Alyssa smiled delightedly as she looked down at the course she’d just beaten.

“Alyssa Greene, on her very first appearance, completes the City Qualifiers course!” the first man yelled excitedly, from the commentators’ booth next to the wall. “That means she’s moving on to the City Finals stage!”

Emma realized that meant that Alyssa would be running again tomorrow night, and she was suddenly a lot keener to come back and spectate. Alyssa’s eyes were alight with glee, waving once to the cheering crowd before making her way down the back of the wall. Emma watched until she disappeared, only now just becoming aware of how hard her heart was pounding in her chest.

Her grandma smirked at her.

“Shut up,” Emma muttered.

“I didn’t say anything,” Betsy said innocently.

“I can tell you want to,” Emma said.

* * *

After Alyssa’s run, Emma quickly got bored again.

It was long past midnight by now and she was starting to get tired, especially with all the loud noises around her that were draining her energy quicker than usual. She excused herself to go to the bathroom, hoping for a bit of peace and quiet away from the course.

Coming out of the bathroom, Emma wasn’t looking where she was going as she made her way reluctantly back to the stands. As such, she didn’t notice the person she was about to collide with until she’d already slammed into them.

“Oof,” Emma said, stumbling backwards. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw who she’d just bumped into.

“I’m so sorry,” Alyssa Greene said with a grimace. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Neither was I,” Emma said quickly. “It was my fault.”

God, she was even more beautiful up close. Her eyes were warm, her smile made Emma’s stomach flutter, and she dimly thought that she’d been right in thinking that Alyssa was an inch or so shorter than her. She was wearing a lightweight grey hoodie over her tank top now, which was probably for the best – Emma didn’t want to get distracted by her arms, especially not after she’d witnessed just how strong Alyssa was.

“I’m Emma, by the way,” she blurted out. “Uh, you were amazing out there.”

Alyssa smiled wider. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “You actually made it look pretty easy.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, my arms are kind of killing me now,” Alyssa said with a laugh. “So, are you, like, a fan of the show?”

“God, no,” Emma snorted.

Alyssa laughed, and Emma hastened to explain further.

“I mean, my grandma’s a fan and she makes me drive her so that’s why I’m here,” she said. “I just… I think what the people do here is impressive but it’s all kind of excessive and actually kind of sexist in a way and—”

“It’s okay, Emma,” Alyssa said. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“Oh,” Emma said.

“For what it’s worth, I agree with you,” Alyssa said. “Most of the people here are nice, but they’re also showboats.”

“Makes for good television, I guess,” Emma said, a little surprised that Alyssa shared her views. “I just find it boring personally.”

“Why, are you not into guys with egos?” Alyssa asked with another laugh. “Cause there’s plenty of those here.”

Emma raised her eyebrows. “What do you think?”

Alyssa’s eyes flickered down to Emma’s flannel shirt and oversized jacket, cheeks reddening slightly at the amused tone of Emma’s voice. “I don’t think you are.”

Emma blamed her mental exhaustion for the brash confidence she was now feeling talking to Alyssa. It helped, of course, that Alyssa was chatting to her almost like they were friends. It helped to put Emma at ease, although she was still caught up in how pretty Alyssa was, and how nice she was, and how Emma had essentially just come out to her within the first couple minutes of meeting her.

“Um,” Alyssa cleared her throat. “I was about to go watch some of the other guys run, to get some tips for tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” Emma said, disappointment washing over her at the prospect of saying goodbye so soon.

“Do you want to come watch with me?” Alyssa asked. “You don’t have to, obviously, you’re here with your grandma I’m guessing and I get it if you’d rather not leave her in the stands but I just wondered if—”

“Sure,” Emma said, trying to keep her voice steady. “I’d love to.”

“Cool,” Alyssa breathed. “It’s just… it’s hard to make friends here when everyone already knows each other.”

“In my experience, it’s hard to make friends, period,” Emma said, as they started to walk together in the direction of the course. “People around here don’t generally like me.”

“They’re dumb, then,” Alyssa said decisively. “Are you from the city, too?”

Emma shook her head, her face feeling warm. “Franklin, about a half hour away. But I’ll be moving to New York this fall.”

“No way,” Alyssa’s eyes lit up. “Me too! I took a year off after high school because… um, well, long story short I needed a break from some stuff, but I’m going to Columbia this year.”

Emma whistled. “That’s a good school. And I get what you mean about needing a break. I actually took a year off, too.”

They reached the course again, leaning up against the barriers near the fourth obstacle. Alyssa had to raise her voice slightly above the noise of the crowd when she spoke next.

“Are you going to college in New York?”

“Yep. NYU,” Emma said, loud enough so that Alyssa could hear her.

“That’s awesome,” Alyssa said. “Well, I guess I’ll at least know one person in the city.”

“I guess you will,” Emma replied, hardly able to believe the events of the night.

Alyssa started explaining little things about the obstacles that more and more athletes were taking on, which Emma honestly didn’t really care about, but she liked it when Alyssa would talk about it as enthusiastically as she did. Emma could tell that she really loved the sport, despite her issues with the show itself, and she clearly knew her stuff. Alyssa talked to her as if they’d known each other far longer than approximately one hour, and Emma wondered more than once if Alyssa was just as starved for conversation and friends as she herself was.

Eventually, the night’s events were over, and Emma was realizing that she’d have to leave Alyssa’s company. Alyssa turned to look at her, a little tired but still bright-eyed as she smiled at her.

“Are you coming back tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, my grandma wouldn’t miss it,” Emma said with a laugh.

She held herself back from saying that now that she’d met Alyssa, there was no way she’d miss the City Finals. She didn’t want to freak Alyssa out, or make it seem like she was coming onto her or anything. Alyssa was probably straight, because practically everybody in Indiana was straight, and Emma would much rather play it safe and just be her friend than risk scaring her away before they’d even gotten to know each other that much.

“If you want to, we can hang out after my run?” Alyssa suggested, scuffing the ground with her foot almost like she was nervous to ask.

“I’d like that,” Emma said quietly.

Alyssa smiled. “Okay, then. Whether or not I get through to National Finals, meet me where we first crashed into each other after.”

“I will,” Emma promised.

Alyssa turned to leave, spinning back around just as quickly. She locked eyes with Emma, who suddenly felt her heart start to race. Alyssa bit her bottom lip.

“I’m really glad I met you, Emma,” she said.

Emma swallowed. “I’m really glad I met you, too, Alyssa.”

Watching Alyssa go, Emma suddenly remembered that she’d practically abandoned her grandma in the stands hours ago. She pushed off from the barriers, quickly headed in the direction she and her grandma had been standing, to find Betsy already on her way to meet her.

“I’m so sorry,” Emma said hurriedly. “I completely forgot to tell you I was going to be hanging out with—”

“Your new girlfriend?” Betsy interrupted gleefully.

“No, I—we—” Emma stuttered. “We just met, and I don’t even know if she likes girls. We’re just friends. Maybe not even friends yet.”

Betsy looked amused. “Well, next time be sure to at least text me. If I hadn’t seen you and Alyssa from the stands I would have worried you’d been abducted on your way back from the bathroom.”

“Sorry,” Emma said again. “I guess I just forgot.”

“I wonder why.”

* * *

Emma was glad that there would only be thirty competitors running the finals course, because she didn’t know if she’d be able to cope with getting home at near enough five in the morning two nights in a row. Dragging herself out of bed at midday had been hard enough, and she’d only done it because she’d been hungry.

Now, as she and Betsy waited to be let into the stands (they were near the front of the line thanks to a combination of getting there early and Betsy using her age to worm her way into the hearts of the crew), Emma found herself actually kind of excited about the competition. Mostly, she was just nervous on Alyssa’s behalf. Her grandma hadn’t shut up about how difficult the City Finals courses were, and about how they were only taking the top twelve from each qualifying venue – plus the top two women if they were placed outside that top twelve – to the National Finals in Las Vegas in a couple months’ time.

As soon as they were let in, Betsy marched straight over to the stands by the eighth obstacle, having immediately picked it out as one that would cause a lot of problems. And even Emma, knowing very little about obstacle courses, could see why. It looked like the athletes would have to swing from a bar and make a mid-air grab to pick up another bar and land it safely in a curved cradle. Twice.

Since Alyssa had completed the qualifying course – albeit with a fairly slow time – she wouldn’t be running until they were about midway through the pack, so Emma sat herself down with her headphones on once more. This time, though, she did actually watch whenever a competitor made it to the obstacle in front of her.

By the time Alyssa took her place at the start line, nobody had finished the course. Only four had made it to Up For Grabs, the eighth obstacle – and three of them had fallen on it. Emma removed her headphones, putting them around her neck as she stood up and looked at the big screen.

“Next up is Alyssa Greene, the nineteen year old who made quite the first impression in qualifying,” one of the commentators said, acting like it had been seven weeks ago rather than a single day. In his defence, the episodes would in fact be aired seven weeks apart.

“She completed the course, and she’s hoping to replicate that form here tonight and punch her ticket to Vegas in the process,” the second commentator said.

Alyssa, once again, didn’t react to anything being said about her. It was remarkable how different Alyssa was on the course to how she was off of it, Emma thought. Here she was so calm and focused, and yet talking to Emma last night she’d been so energetic and talkative. Emma decided that she liked both versions of Alyssa a lot.

Alyssa made the first half of the course look easy. Emma supposed that she’d done those obstacles successfully before, just last night, and knew she could get through them, but it still completely baffled her just how strong Alyssa was. She was wearing the same leggings as she had been yesterday, paired with a pale pink tank top this time around.

Emma watched her tackle the Ferris Wheels on the big screen, getting a different angle than what she’d seen the previous night. She could see the muscles flexing in Alyssa’s back and arms as she cushioned the impact of the drop, her mouth going embarrassingly dry as she watched.

_Stop it, _she thought. _Don’t think about Alyssa as anything more than a friend._

Running up the Warped Wall at the first attempt, Alyssa allowed herself a smile as she faced down the new obstacles. The seventh obstacle was pretty much attached to the eighth, and so now Emma could watch Alyssa in person, as opposed to on the screens.

“The next obstacle is the Salmon Ladder,” one of the commentators said. “These next three obstacles here are all upper body focused, so we’ll see how much strength she has left in her arms.”

“I’d say she has quite a lot of strength left,” the other commentator said as Alyssa jumped from the mini trampette to grab the bar in a switch grip – one hand facing forwards and the other backwards – and stilled her body as she hung from it.

Then, she pulled her body upwards, taking the bar off the rung it was on and jumping it up to the next. Emma had seen a few people do the Salmon Ladder tonight, but seeing Alyssa kip her body and jump the bar up each of the four rungs needed to proceed was mesmerizing. Emma swallowed hard.

“Alyssa Greene is the first woman tonight to reach Up For Grabs,” one of the commentators said excitedly, almost like he couldn’t fathom it happening, and Emma rolled her eyes. “If she gets through this obstacle, she’ll almost certainly make it to the National Finals, with just two women to run after her.”

Emma held back a snort. She’d only spent a few hours with Alyssa, and she already knew that she was aiming for the top twelve regardless of gender. Alyssa grabbed hold of the first stationary bar, using her lower body to generate a swing. Eyes focused intently on the bar in front of her, Alyssa released and flew through the air. Her outstretched hands snatched the bar and held on tight as she landed it in its cradle.

The crowd cheered as she stuck the first landing, clearly excited about Alyssa’s prospects, and Emma found herself feeling unbelievably proud of this girl who she wasn’t even sure she could call a friend yet. Alyssa reached out to take hold of the second stationary bar, and Emma wondered just how long it had been since Alyssa’s feet had been on the ground. At least thirty seconds for sure.

It looked to be affecting Alyssa slightly, as Emma could make out a slight grimace on her face as she stuck the landing on the second cradle. She swung from the bar, making a safe rolling landing on the mat before getting to her feet and shaking out her arms with a frown. Clearly, the eight obstacles she’d completed in the last five or so minutes had begun to catch up with her.

The ninth obstacle was another upper body gauntlet. It was split into four stages: one set of handles to grab in a switch grip, then another set where the direction of the athlete’s hands would have to be reversed, and then two separate spinning circles, all of which the athletes had to lache between. Emma had only just learned what a lache was, and to her it seemed like a mixture between launching and simply flying. She didn’t know how she would even begin to go about it, and yet people had been making it look easy.

Alyssa did, too, making the transfer between the two sets of handles with only a slight struggle. It was when she got to the first circle that things began to go wrong. Emma could see Alyssa’s arms trembling on the close-up of her on the screens, and she looked as if she was fighting to keep the circle from spinning out of control. She swung her lower body carefully to prepare for the lache, but then the circle spun to the side as she let go and Alyssa came up short on the grab.

Emma’s heart stopped as she watched Alyssa fall into the tank of water below, only letting out a relieved breath when she resurfaced, clearly unharmed. She applauded along with everyone else, because Alyssa had gotten further than anyone else at this stage in the night’s events, and that was surely something she would be proud of.

Even having met Alyssa only the night before, Emma knew she would still be kicking herself regardless.

“With thirteen ninjas to run after her, Alyssa Greene currently puts herself in first place,” one of the commentators said. “Meaning she’s pretty much guaranteed a spot in the National Finals.”

Emma bit her lip excitedly at that, watching as Alyssa hauled herself over the edge of the tank and accepted the towel she was handed by a crew member. Emma watched her look around the stands, and wondered if Alyssa was maybe looking for her. The thought set off butterflies in her stomach that she tried in vain to squash.

“I’m gonna go catch up with Alyssa,” she told her grandma.

Betsy simply smirked at her. “Okay, honey. Have fun.”

Emma made her way down to the bottom of the stands, freeing herself of the crush of people and treading the path towards the bathrooms. Sure enough, Alyssa was waiting for her outside holding the soaked towel in her hands, droplets of water still falling onto the floor from her body and making little puddles. She grinned sheepishly at Emma.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Emma said, coming to a halt in front of her. “How are you feeling?”

Alyssa appeared to think about it for a moment. “Okay,” she said eventually. “I mean, I would’ve loved to complete, but I know what I did wrong and I’m gonna work on it for next time.”

“For what it’s worth, I have no idea how you made most of that look so easy,” Emma said honestly. “I think you’re incredible.”

A soft smile graced Alyssa’s lips. “Really?”

“Really,” Emma said, fighting down a blush. “Alyssa, it’s your first year and you’ve already done so much better than people ten years older than you in their fifth seasons. In what world is that _not _incredible?”

Alyssa took a quick step towards her and threw her arms around Emma’s shoulders. Emma’s breath caught in her chest, because Alyssa was hugging her, and she could feel how strong her arms were around her. Emma wound her own arms lightly around Alyssa’s waist, still a little dazed that this was actually happening and hoping that Alyssa couldn’t feel how fast her heart was beating.

Pulling back after a few moments, Alyssa’s brow suddenly creased in concern as she looked down at the front of Emma’s sweater.

“Shit, I made you wet,” she said.

Emma choked.

Alyssa seemed to realize what she’d said, because her eyes went wide and her mouth opened and closed uselessly several times. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean—”

“I know,” Emma said quickly. “Sorry. I made you uncomfortable and it was my fault.”

“No, I probably would’ve taken it the same way if it were me,” Alyssa said with a tiny laugh, finally seeming to regain control of her faculties. “I just wasn’t thinking when I said it. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Emma reassured her. “Besides, you just fell into a tank of water so it _would _probably be best to get out of those wet clothes.”

“Okay, that one had to be on purpose,” Alyssa said, raising an eyebrow, and now it was Emma’s jaw dropping as her brain processed what she’d just said.

“It wasn’t—I just meant that you might catch a cold or something if you didn’t change into dry clothes,” Emma managed, watching as Alyssa started to giggle.

“Emma, it’s okay,” she said. “You’re right. Give me five minutes?”

She picked up the backpack Emma hadn’t noticed until now, gesturing to the bathrooms. Emma nodded and Alyssa darted away to change. Emma took the opportunity to run a hand over her face, trying to regain some control over herself and her mouth. She’d only known Alyssa for a day, and Alyssa was straight, and Emma really couldn’t afford to continue to say and do dumb things like that around her.

Before she knew it Alyssa was emerging from the bathrooms, now wearing she same grey hoodie as she had been the previous night, with a pair of yoga pants that Emma could already tell did wonders for her ass. Forcing that thought out of her mind immediately, Emma returned the smile Alyssa gave her.

“Wanna go watch the rest again?” Alyssa asked, twisting her ponytail into a bun on top of her head to stop the water from it dripping down the back of her hoodie.

“Sure,” Emma said.

She still didn’t really care about the competition overall, but she was keen to find out whether or not Alyssa had definitely qualified for the Vegas finals in a few months’ time. She followed Alyssa back to the sidelines where they stood in front of the obstacle Alyssa had fallen on. For the most part, Alyssa talked animatedly with Emma, only dropping the discussion when someone reached the ninth obstacle.

Despite the embarrassment of their earlier conversation, Emma found that she settled back into her rhythm with Alyssa almost seamlessly. She was easy to talk to in a way that Emma hadn’t expected, especially given she was an athlete and Emma was simply an unwilling spectator.

“Who are they?” Emma asked, nodding to where a man and a woman were stood watching the current competitor on the other side of the barriers, a camera tracking them as they cheered on the man who was about to fall on the Salmon Ladder.

“Um, I think his wife, and his brother, maybe,” Alyssa said. “His sideline people, at any rate.”

“Sideline people?”

“I don’t know if there’s a technical term,” Alyssa said. “Like, close friends or family, or a partner. That sort of stuff.”

“Who are your sideline people?” Emma asked, wracking her brain as she tried to remember seeing anyone in that position during Alyssa’s run.

“I, uh, I don’t have any,” Alyssa said quietly. “My friends all moved away, and there’s definitely no partner around.”

“What about family?” Emma asked carefully. She knew it could be a touchy subject.

Alyssa shrugged. “None that care about this.”

“That’s dumb of them,” Emma said firmly. “They’re missing out.”

Alyssa didn’t say anything, but she smiled softly. Damnit, Emma was already a goner for her; she knew herself well enough to realize that. But for all she’d crushed on girls before, she’d never been so hopeless so quickly for someone. Although, Emma reasoned, she hadn’t met anyone quite like Alyssa before.

There were three more competitors left to run when Alyssa suddenly turned to her and held out her hand.

“Can I borrow your phone for a sec?”

“Sure,” Emma said, handing it over, although she didn’t really know why Alyssa would need it.

“Thanks,” Alyssa said, typing something in with a grin on her face and handing the phone back to her once she was done.

Emma stared at the screen; at the digits that Alyssa had just plugged into a ‘new contact’ field. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to text me,” Alyssa said hurriedly. “You can just delete it if you want to. But it kind of feels like you’re the only friend I have around here and, well, I really like talking to you.”

“I really like talking to you, too,” Emma said, saving Alyssa’s contact details. “And I will definitely text you.”

Alyssa bit her lip, and Emma forced her eyes not to follow the movement. She cleared her throat, bringing both of their attention back to the course. Was Alyssa standing a fraction closer to her than she had been before?

_Knock it off_, she thought. _Alyssa just wants to be your friend. Nothing more._

* * *

Alyssa finished the City Qualifiers in seventh place, and qualified for the National Finals.

_i know you have to sign an nda or something_

_but you better tell me if you win the million dollars_

In hindsight, maybe Emma should have signed her first text with her name or something so that Alyssa knew it was her, but it didn’t end up mattering. Alyssa texted back less than five minutes later, clearly knowing exactly who the text was from.

_Why, miss “I-forgot-to-ask-for-your-last-name-at-the-weekend”, are you asking me to break the law?_

_its nolan :) _

_and maybe… but im also just rooting for you_

_Well then, Emma Nolan, I will definitely consider it. For you._

Emma clutched her phone to her chest, cheeks reddening even though nobody was there to judge her for her pathetic reaction to Alyssa’s text. It wasn’t her fault that Alyssa was just so… she didn’t want to use the word ‘flirty’, because Alyssa would never be flirting with her, but reading her messages still made Emma grin like a total idiot.

_if you ever wanna hang out just let me know_

_i mean youre probably super busy training but im very good at holding water bottles etc_

_I’d love to hang out! I’m in the gym all week but if you’re free this weekend we could work something out?_

_sounds perfect_

* * *

Emma had thought she had a handle on this inconvenient crush.

And then the first thing Alyssa did upon seeing her was hug her, and Emma was even more hopeless than before. Alyssa drew back after a few moments, and Emma realized dimly that this was the first time she’d seen her with her hair down. The curls fell to just past her shoulders, framing her face beautifully, and Emma just knew she was going to have daydreams about playing with Alyssa’s hair now. She almost rolled her eyes at her own predictability.

“So,” Alyssa started with a wide smile. “What do you want to do?”

Emma paused, because she hadn’t actually thought that far ahead. All she’d really wanted to do was spend time with Alyssa; what they actually ended up doing today in the city was almost inconsequential. Alyssa’s growling stomach seemed to settle Emma’s indecisiveness, though.

“Lunch?” she asked.

Alyssa laughed a little. “Probably a good idea.”

They found a place to eat that was relatively quiet, and Alyssa immediately snatched her menu up off the table and pored over it intently.

“God, I’m starving,” she said, eyes fixed on the pages.

“What, did you not eat breakfast or something?” Emma joked.

“I did, but mom doesn’t keep a lot of filling food in the house,” Alyssa said casually. “Plus, I worked out for half the morning so…”

“Is that every day this week?” Emma asked.

“I didn’t go to the gym on Monday,” Alyssa said. “Too sore after qualifying. But, since then, yeah.”

Emma whistled lowly. “See, this is why I could never be a ninja. Apart from my complete lack of athleticism.”

“I don’t know,” Alyssa said, glancing Emma up and down. “I think you’re stronger than you let on.”

Emma laughed, the tips of her ears heating up. “Not really. I can’t even do monkey bars.”

Alyssa just tilted her head to the side and regarded her with a small smile on her face. It made Emma nervous, so she cleared her throat and changed the topic as she looked at her own menu.

“So, you mentioned your mom…”

“Ugh, don’t even get me started on her,” Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I love her, I really do, but she drives me insane.”

“Controlling?” Emma guessed.

“Bingo. Since I was a kid, she’s always been pushing me,” Alyssa sighed. “Pushing me to be top of the grade, to take every dance class I can, to be head cheerleader, and Homecoming Queen, and basically all the things that look good on college applications. To say she flipped her shit when I told her I wasn’t going to college for another year would be an understatement.”

Emma winced. “She sounds… enthusiastic. Is she as enthusiastic about _Ninja Warrior_?”

“No,” Alyssa said shortly. “She really isn’t.”

“Oh,” Emma said, feeling awkwardness wash over her at potentially hitting a sore spot with Alyssa. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, it’s not your fault,” Alyssa said with another sigh. “And I’ll tell you more about her one day, I promise, it’s just… I’m hungry and I just came on my period last night and if I wasn’t here with you now then everything would royally suck.”

Sensing Alyssa perhaps didn’t want to be made more emotional, Emma opted for a joke instead.

“You went to the gym on the first day of your period? Hardcore.”

Alyssa laughed suddenly, and Emma felt warmth spread through her chest at the sound. They each went back to looking at their menus, the awkwardness dissipating once more, to Emma’s immense relief. She didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable by asking her something she didn’t want to talk about, but Alyssa was back to her usual self.

Or, at least, back to the person Emma had been getting to know over the past week or so.

Emma let Alyssa steal fries off her plate when their food arrived – since she didn’t order any for herself – and tried to convince herself that it wouldn’t break her heart when Alyssa inevitably got a boyfriend, or rejected Emma when she found out about her crush. She could do this. She could be friends with her, and nothing more.

* * *

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Alyssa,” Betsy was saying as Emma skidded to a halt by the front door. “Emma’s told me so much about you.”

“She has?” Alyssa sounded surprised.

“Not really,” Emma said hastily, ignoring the amused look her grandmother threw her way. “A normal amount, if anything.”

“Come on in,” Betsy said, stepping aside to let Alyssa past.

Alyssa smiled at her, brushing between her and Emma as she took in the house with a grin. Emma shifted, not sure why she was so nervous about Alyssa coming over to hang out. They’d been hanging out a lot over the past two weeks, after all, so why should this be any different?

“Netflix?” Alyssa asked immediately. “I still haven’t binged the latest season of _One Day at a Time _because of my training schedule and you said you wanted to rewatch it, so…”

She trailed off hopefully, and Emma couldn’t deny her anything.

“Sounds good,” she said. “Living room’s this way.”

“I’ll rustle up some snacks,” Betsy said, disappearing to the kitchen before Emma could protest that she really didn’t need to do that.

Clearing her throat, Emma led Alyssa through to the living room and grabbed the remote. She brought Netflix up on the television, scrolling through her ‘watch it again’ list until she found what she was looking for. She was still a little surprised that Alyssa watched this show; her mind stuck on the lesbianism at the forefront – but she reminded herself that the show covered a lot of things besides sexuality. Maybe it was just that the sexuality element of the show was the thing that resonated with Emma the most. Maybe other elements of the show resonated with Alyssa, and the gay thing was little more than an afterthought to her.

Emma pressed play on the first episode of season three, settling next to Alyssa on the couch as it started. She left enough space between them to not feel as if she was trying to crowd Alyssa, pulling her legs up so she was sitting cross-legged and fiddling with her hands in her lap. Usually when she hung out with Alyssa, they’d walk around Indianapolis and talk, or get food somewhere, so simply sitting with her and watching TV in her house was a little different. It felt kind of ‘high school crush’.

Emma wondered all throughout the episode whether they would’ve been friends in high school.

“It’s great to actually be able to give the show viewing figures on Netflix,” Alyssa said suddenly, once they were almost halfway through the season.

“Huh?” Emma turned to glance at her in confusion.

“It’s… I had to watch the first two seasons illegally,” Alyssa admitted.

Emma furrowed her brow. “I thought you had Netflix, too.”

“I do,” Alyssa said. “It’s just, um, I don’t think I can let my mom see it in my history. We have a shared account.”

“Oh,” Emma said quietly, immediately knowing why Alyssa’s mother wouldn’t approve. This was Indiana, after all.

“Yeah,” Alyssa mumbled. “Her opinions on gay people, and gender identity, and politics… they really don’t match up with the show.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma said, because she didn’t really know what else to say.

It looked like Alyssa wanted to keep talking, so Emma hit pause on the television and waited. After what seemed like an eternity, Alyssa took a deep breath.

“She made it very clear to me, ever since I was a kid, that she just wanted what was best for me,” she said. “She pushed me into all these extra curriculars in school. Pushed me into planning for the future. For college, and for finding the perfect husband to settle down with, and for finding a balance between work and children. There was nothing in my life that wasn’t dictated by her, until I started training for _Ninja Warrior_.”

She glanced over to meet Emma’s eyes, shrugging helplessly.

“It’s a dumb reality show, sure,” she said. “But it’s also something that’s just… mine. It’s something I do for me, and she doesn’t like it but there’s nothing she can do about it. I’m not in it for the money, or for the fame, or anything like that. I’m in it to prove that I can do what I want, and do it well.”

“I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job of that so far,” Emma said softly. “And you don’t have to do any of that other stuff that she wants you to do, for the record. Not if you don’t want it.”

“I want to go to college,” Alyssa said immediately. “I just… needed a break after the stress of high school.”

Emma swallowed. “And what about the husband and kids?”

There was a pause, then, as she and Alyssa looked into each other’s eyes. Emma didn’t really know why she’d asked her that when she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to hear the answer to it.

“I—I don’t really know what I want,” Alyssa said finally, looking more vulnerable than Emma had ever seen her. “I guess I’m starting to realize that my future can look like whatever I want it to, and that’s kind of scary. Freeing, but scary.”

“Yeah,” Emma breathed.

“What about you?” Alyssa asked, clearing her throat. “Do you think you’d ever want kids?”

“I… maybe,” Emma said slowly. She glanced down at her hands. “I guess if I was with the right woman then…”

And although she had practically been out to Alyssa since their first conversation, Emma froze. Because this confirmed it. Now there was no dancing around the fact that Emma was a lesbian. It shouldn’t feel like a big deal.

But it kind of did.

Alyssa just nodded. “I think that’s a really mature way of looking at it. Everyone usually expects you to have a black and white answer even at nineteen.”

“It’s so dumb,” Emma agreed, breathing a little easier again, because Alyssa had barely reacted to her official coming out. “And besides, I don’t even know if I’d be a good parent, so…”

She picked up the remote, intending for that to be the end of the conversation, but Alyssa grabbed her wrist suddenly. Surprised, Emma looked at her to find Alyssa staring back with a frown.

“Why?”

“What?” Emma asked.

“Why don’t you think you’d be a good parent?”

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t have the best example.”

“So what?” Alyssa said, fire behind her eyes. “Emma, I don’t know anything about your parents. Hell, I’ve only known you for a few weeks, and already I can tell that you’re probably the most caring and understanding person I’ve ever met. I think, if it’s something you wanted in the future, that you’d be a great mom.”

Emma’s breath caught in her chest. “I…”

“Sorry,” Alyssa said, letting go of her. “I’m sorry. That was too much.”

“No,” Emma said gently. “It wasn’t, I just… nobody apart from my grandma has said something that nice to me. Ever.”

Alyssa’s forehead creased. “Emma…”

“My parents kicked me out,” Emma blurted out, stopping Alyssa in her tracks.

“What?”

“My parents kicked me out when I came out to them,” Emma said, quieter. “Three years ago. That’s why I live here. They—they caused me so much pain, before that too, and I don’t want to think about causing a kid pain like that, even accidentally.”

“You wouldn’t,” Alyssa said, reaching out and settling her hand on Emma’s knee through her jeans. “We may not have been friends for long, Emma Nolan, but I know you wouldn’t.”

“You sound so certain,” Emma said, huffing out a weak laugh.

“Well, I’m very smart,” Alyssa shrugged. “So you should believe me.”

Emma laughed properly at that. “God, I didn’t mean for Netflix binging to turn into honesty hour.”

Alyssa snorted.

“But I’m glad it did,” Emma continued softly.

“Me too,” Alyssa admitted, meeting her eyes almost shyly.

And Emma didn’t know why exactly, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that – in that moment – something had started to shift.

* * *

Emma didn’t know what possessed her to accompany Alyssa to one of her training sessions, because it was perhaps one of the worst decisions she had ever made.

She’d thought that because she’d seen Alyssa in action on the course, training would be no different, and yet… here she was, holding Alyssa’s water bottle as promised, watching slack-jawed as she made the long lache from one bar to another. The ninja gym they were in had a lot of different obstacles to practise on, and today was apparently a ‘flying’ day.

Once she’d made the transfer safely, Alyssa dropped to the ground with a happy little grin on her face, turning to Emma brightly. Emma gulped as she tried to avoid looking at Alyssa’s abs – made oh so visible by the sports bra she was wearing to train – and held out the bottle for her to take.

“Thanks,” Alyssa said, taking a long drink. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed the mouthful of water, and Emma shifted on the spot. She felt like a creep.

“How many weeks until National Finals again?” she asked, just for something to talk about.

“Five,” Alyssa said. “We’ve just hit the halfway point between qualifying and finals.”

“How do you feel about it?”

Alyssa seemed to consider this for a moment. “Pretty good so far. I need to work on my grip strength, but I think my core muscles are getting a lot stronger.”

“I’ll say,” Emma muttered.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” Emma said hurriedly. “Just… I don’t know how you do all this.”

“Half of it is believing you can do it,” Alyssa explained. “Like, if you don’t think you can run up the Warped Wall, then there’s no way you’ll get to the top.”

“What’s the other half?” Emma grinned.

“Training your body to do the thing your brain wants it to,” Alyssa said with a laugh. “So you don’t fall on your ass.”

“How long does it take for both halves to come together?” Emma asked, genuinely curious. “Sorry, I know I’m asking a lot of questions.”

“It’s okay,” Alyssa said, a warm smile on her face. “It’s different for everyone, I guess. I always knew my body and its limits from dance, so it was more about believing I could do it.”

“You always look so focused,” Emma said. “Like, you don’t play to the crowds like the others do.”

“I can’t let myself get distracted,” Alyssa said immediately, and Emma felt her spirits sink a little for some reason. “Besides, the crowds aren’t there for me.”

“They will be,” Emma assured her.

“Thanks,” Alyssa murmured. She took another gulp of her drink before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and grabbing Emma’s wrist. “Come on.”

“What are you doing?”

“Showing you that you can do it, too.”

Emma started to panic a little. “Really, Alyssa, you don’t have to—”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Alyssa reassured her. “But what’s the point in coming to a ninja gym if you’re not going to at least try one thing, right?”

“I don’t know…” Emma said, trailing off as she realized what Alyssa was leading her over to. “Monkey bars?”

Alyssa turned to face her. “You told me once, when I said you were stronger than you let on, that you couldn’t even do monkey bars.”

“You remember that?” Emma asked, a spark of warmth flaring in her belly that had nothing to do with how Alyssa looked, and everything to do with what she said.

“Of course I do,” Alyssa said. “Because it made me start to think that you don’t have a lot of confidence in yourself.”

Emma suddenly felt as if Alyssa could see right through her. “Well…”

“I’m not prying, not if you don’t want me to,” Alyssa said quickly. “I just want you to start seeing yourself the way I see you.”

“And how’s that?” Emma breathed, caught up in the determination in Alyssa’s brown eyes.

“As a brilliant and kind young woman who can do anything she sets her mind to,” Alyssa said quietly, and Emma ducked her head, cheeks flushing. “Do you want to try?”

“Okay,” Emma said, biting her lip to temper her grin when Alyssa squealed excitedly.

Alyssa set the water bottle down and manoeuvred Emma so that she was standing beneath the first rung. Emma looked up, wondering how in the hell she was even going to get up there. She might be able to jump for it, but she knew that her upper body was too weak to support herself for longer than a few seconds.

“Put your hands on my shoulders,” Alyssa instructed her.

Emma complied, feeling the solid muscle under her hands as she did so. Holy shit, Alyssa had really nice shoulders… Shaking her head to snap herself out of it, Emma looked into Alyssa’s eyes, noting that they were a lot closer than they had been a few seconds ago.

“When you’re in range, I want you to let go of me and grab the bar above you with both hands.”

“Okay,” Emma said. “But how am I going to get in ra—”

She cut herself off with a small yelp as Alyssa bent down slightly and wrapped her arms around Emma’s thighs, lifting her as if she weighed nothing at all. Suddenly, the bar was close enough to take, and Emma let go of Alyssa’s shoulders to hold onto it tightly.

Emma glanced down, seeing Alyssa tilt her head back to look at her encouragingly. Her face was somewhere around the level of Emma’s stomach, and she was wearing a winning smile as she looked up at where Emma was clinging onto the first rung. Emma tried very hard not to think about the fact that Alyssa’s arms were holding onto her just below her butt.

“Take one hand off the bar and grab the next one,” Alyssa encouraged. “Then bring your other hand to join it.”

“What if I fall?” Emma asked, the niggling worry at the back of her mind.

“You won’t,” Alyssa promised. “I’m supporting most of your weight at the moment, so it should be easy. The first step is getting the movement.”

Deciding to trust her, Emma took a deep breath and took one hand off the bar. She didn’t fall, just like Alyssa had said, so she reached out and grabbed the rung in front of her. As she moved her second hand, Alyssa took a step backwards with her arms still locked around Emma’s thighs, so that Emma was directly beneath the second bar.

“Great,” Alyssa said encouragingly. “See, I knew you could do this.”

“I don’t think it counts if I’m not holding my own weight,” Emma laughed.

“Think of me as your training wheels,” Alyssa said.

Emma snorted. “I will not.”

“Fine,” Alyssa said. “Now do it again. Reach out for the next one.”

Focusing hard on the movement of her upper body, Emma did it. To her surprise, it was actually pretty easy, and she made the next few transfers without being told to. Alyssa continued to walk backwards with her, encouraging her all the while. It was almost fun. Emma found the last few transfers a lot harder, reasoning as she did so that she was getting tired, but she pushed through and then all of a sudden she was hanging from the final rung.

“You did it!” Alyssa exclaimed.

Emma glanced down at her again, biting her bottom lip. “I guess I did. Can I get down now, though?”

“Sure,” Alyssa said, adjusting her grip to hold her tightly.

_When did her grip loosen? _Emma wondered.

“One hand at a time, hold onto my shoulders again,” Alyssa instructed.

Once Emma had her hands on Alyssa’s shoulders, Alyssa began to lower her back to the ground. She let go of Emma, standing back up to her full height with a blinding smile on her face.

“I told you that you were stronger than you let on,” she declared.

“Hardly,” Emma replied. “You said it yourself, you were supporting all my weight.”

“Not at the end I wasn’t,” Alyssa grinned. “That was mostly you.”

“What?”

But, Emma slowly realized, it made sense. She’d found the last few rungs difficult, and at some point Alyssa had evidently loosened her grip only to tighten it again when she lowered her to the ground. Focused as she’d been on the monkey bars, Emma must have missed it. Hands still resting on Alyssa’s shoulders, Emma suddenly pulled her into a hug. Alyssa’s hands found a place against Emma’s back, falling easily into the embrace.

“Thank you,” Emma whispered into Alyssa’s ear, not entirely sure what it was she was trying to thank her for.

Alyssa pressed herself closer. “Any time.”

Emma didn’t know how long they held onto each other for, but when they eventually drew back, she swore she saw a flash of something in Alyssa’s eyes. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but it was gone so quickly that maybe she had imagined it. Either way, they were practically breathing the same air, and Emma felt her heart stutter in her chest at Alyssa’s proximity.

And then she remembered that, even in an alternate universe where she had a chance with her, Alyssa didn’t want any distractions. And Emma’s hopeless crush had officially gotten even more hopeless.

* * *

“You and Betsy should come to Vegas with me,” Alyssa said, three weeks before she was due to leave for National Finals.

“Wait, really?” Emma asked, pausing the television on the true crime documentary they were watching and turning to look at her.

Alyssa’s head was resting on her hand, her elbow braced against the back of the couch as she gazed back. Emma’s eyes flicked down to her lips, unable to help herself, before she forced them back up to meet Alyssa’s eyes.

“Only if you want to, of course,” Alyssa corrected herself.

“I want to,” Emma said immediately. “I just… I just figured you didn’t want me there.”

Alyssa frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Emma just shrugged, biting back an answer about being a distraction. Clearly, Alyssa didn’t think of her as a distraction; not like Emma thought of her. Although, to Emma, Alyssa was definitely the most welcome distraction she’d ever had.

“Emma,” Alyssa said, reaching out with her free hand to take Emma’s. “I want you there.”

“Okay,” Emma said, swallowing hard. “Then I’ll be there.”

She and Alyssa just looked at each other for a long moment, and Emma felt it again. Like something invisible was drawing them together; something that Alyssa probably wasn’t even aware of. It was more than a little overwhelming, and Emma suddenly felt like she should say something to break the moment.

“My grandma’s going to fangirl so hard,” she said.

Alyssa grinned and, just like that, whatever it was had passed. Mission accomplished.

* * *

As much as Emma knew Alyssa didn’t want to admit it, the two weeks leading up to their departure had her stressed beyond belief. Despite what Alyssa had once said about _American Ninja Warrior _being a dumb reality show, and despite Alyssa not being in it for the money, Emma knew that she was competitive. She knew that Alyssa wanted to do well, if for no other reason than to prove to herself that she was capable of it.

She trained hard, pushing herself further than Emma had ever seen her push herself before. She’d drill an obstacle ten times in a row, until she could do it with her eyes closed. She’d push herself to run her practice courses faster, clearly worried about the time limits that she’d be up against.

Emma took to accompanying her to the gym just so that she could make sure Alyssa wasn’t pushing herself beyond her limits. She was getting quite good at saying random things to get Alyssa to smile. And for a moment, Alyssa would forget her stresses, and Emma would feel like she was on top of the world.

It was six days before their flight that, for the first time, this tactic didn’t work.

“Alyssa,” Emma said soothingly, watching as Alyssa ignored her joke and growled up at the rope she’d been trying to scale. “Take a second and breathe.”

“I need to be able to climb this rope in thirty seconds, Emma,” Alyssa replied immediately. “Less, actually, because the rope on Stage Four goes a lot higher than this.”

“That’s Stage Four,” Emma reminded her, gently leading her away from the rope. “You’ve still got the other three stages to get through first.”

“You think I can’t?” Alyssa asked, arching an eyebrow.

“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it,” Emma countered. “All I’m saying is that there’s a lot of obstacles to get through before the rope climb, so it’s not productive to spend all your time on this one obstacle.”

Alyssa groaned. “When did you get so bossy?”

“Since someone told me I needed to start believing in myself,” Emma said pointedly, and Alyssa rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t think you’d use it against me, to be fair.”

“Tough shit,” Emma grinned. “You’re getting bossy Emma today, whether you like it or not.”

“I guess bossy Emma has her advantages,” Alyssa said absently, draining half of her water bottle in one go. “Even if she is a pain in my ass.”

Emma swatted her on the arm. “Rude. Now try something else.”

“Let me climb the rope one more time,” Alyssa said, setting her bottle on the ground once more.

“No,” Emma said firmly.

Alyssa narrowed her eyes. “Emma.”

“Alyssa.”

“Who here is the one who actually competes?” Alyssa fired at her. “I know what I need to do.”

“Not right this second you don’t,” Emma argued. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself because you’re pushing yourself too far.”

“I’m not,” Alyssa said.

Emma pushed her shoulder, none too gently, and Alyssa swayed on the spot. “You’re tired.”

“No, you just caught me off guard,” Alyssa said, trying to brush past her back towards the rope.

“Alyssa, please,” Emma grabbed her wrist. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I have to!” Alyssa shouted, everything finally coming to the surface. “If I don’t, then I’ll be a failure!”

“Come with me,” Emma said, because people were starting to stare, and she didn’t want to have this conversation in front of them.

She scooped up Alyssa’s water and dragged her to the locker rooms. Alyssa was silent the whole way there, but she didn’t stop her. Once they were inside, and Emma had checked that they were the only ones there, Emma released her with a sigh. Clearly, at least some of Alyssa’s confidence was a front. Either that, or in the face of so much pressure, it was starting to waver.

“No matter how you do next week, you’re not a failure,” Emma said. “Even if you fall on the first obstacle of Stage One, you still won’t be a failure. Want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re nineteen years old, and it’s your first season, and you made it to the National Finals,” Emma told her firmly. “You finished the City Finals in seventh place. You qualified fair and square, not even as part of a ‘top two women’ clause. You are extraordinary, and you’ve already put failure out of everybody’s minds.”

“Not everybody,” Alyssa muttered.

“Your mother,” Emma guessed. “Are you doing this to prove a point to her? Or are you doing it to prove a point to yourself?”

“Myself,” Alyssa said immediately, but she didn’t sound convinced. Emma wasn’t convinced either.

“Screw what your mother thinks. Screw what she’s tried to put on your shoulders your whole life,” Emma said hotly, almost nose to nose with Alyssa now. “Actually, scratch that. Screw what _everyone _thinks. Screw what I think, because it’s your life, Alyssa. All I’m doing is stopping you from physically hurting yourself, because I know you have it in you to win. But do _you _know?”

“Yes,” Alyssa said, her voice wavering. Emma could see tears gathering in her eyes, and reached out to take hold of Alyssa’s hands, relieved when she didn’t pull away.

“I think you’re pushing yourself this hard because you’re scared,” she said, gentler. “I think you’re scared that you’ll never be good enough.”

“Screw what you think,” Alyssa said. “I’m good enough.”

“Say it again.”

“I’m good enough,” Alyssa said, louder this time, and Emma was utterly enraptured by her.

A tense silence hung between them now that Emma had run out of words to say. Alyssa was looking at her with fire in her eyes, and Emma felt her heart beating faster and faster because she’d never been looked at this intensely before. Alyssa’s eyes flicked down to her lips.

“I’m good enough,” Alyssa whispered.

Emma didn’t know who closed the gap between them, but the next thing she knew, she and Alyssa were kissing.

It was a clumsy press of lips; all heat and electricity, and Emma felt as if her whole body had been struck by lightning. She could feel it coursing through her veins, and Alyssa’s lips were soft, and she was having trouble believing that this was actually happening.

This shouldn’t be happening.

Emma pulled back from the kiss like she’d been burned, dropping Alyssa’s hands. She opened her eyes to see Alyssa staring back at her in shock. It was as if neither of them breathed. And then the reality of what had just happened came crashing in.

“Shit, Alyssa, I’m sorry,” Emma said quickly. “I shouldn’t have—I didn’t mean to—”

“Me neither,” Alyssa said. “It was my fault. I was just so… and you were saying all these things that made me—”

“Made you what?”

Alyssa shook her head rapidly. “It doesn’t matter. But, Emma, Nationals are so close and right now I—I can’t have any…”

“Distractions?” Emma filled in the blank when Alyssa trailed off. Her heart sank. “I know.”

“I’m sorry,” Alyssa looked stricken.

“Don’t be,” Emma waved her off, swallowing her disappointment and taking a step backwards to try and clear her head. “The last thing you need right now is a sexuality crisis.”

“It’s not so much a crisis,” Alyssa mumbled. “I don’t know how to explain it, but… God, if I’d have just kept my feelings in check for another couple weeks…”

“What?” Emma froze, her mind connecting the dots far too slowly.

Alyssa looked up at her with sad eyes. “I like you, Emma.”

“What?” Emma said again.

“I _like _you,” Alyssa repeated, blinking back tears. “I’ve liked you for a while now. I just… I used to be so unsure of my sexuality, because I never liked boys and I _thought _I liked girls, but…”

“Alyssa…”

“It wasn’t until I met you that I started to really figure it out,” Alyssa said in a rush. “And I really didn’t mean to come out to you in the locker room of a gym a week before Nationals right after I messed up by kissing you, but I guess that’s how things turned out.”

Alyssa swallowed, closing her eyes and steeling herself.

“I’m a lesbian,” she said.

It really shouldn’t have been as much of a shock as it ended up being for Emma, but she _had _spent the entirety of their friendship thinking Alyssa was straight to avoid getting her hopes up. Emma took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart as she remembered one of the takeaways from this unexpected revelation.

“So the kiss was a mistake.”

She hated how hollow and disappointed her voice came out, trying to force back her own tears. It was only now that she realized just how _deeply _she felt about Alyssa, and it was not a fun situation to figure it out in. And, sure, Alyssa had said she liked her, but maybe it wasn’t enough.

“No,” Alyssa said, almost growling in frustration as she searched for the right words. “The timing was the mistake, not the kiss itself.”

“Oh,” Emma said weakly, the weight in her chest starting to ease a little.

“I just…” Alyssa squeezed her eyes shut. “I have to know. Do you feel the same as I do?”

Emma couldn’t help it; she started laughing. Alyssa’s eyes opened, and she bowed her head.

“Got it.”

“Wait, Alyssa,” Emma said, suddenly realizing how she’d just come across. “God, I’m such an idiot. I’m only laughing because I’ve had a crush on you since the moment I saw you, and I just never thought there was even a chance that you’d like me back. In that first moment, I never even thought I’d get to speak to you, let alone become your friend, let alone… kiss you.”

“You—” Alyssa looked surprised, her eyes searching Emma’s face. “Since the moment you saw me?”

“Yeah.”

“You never said anything.”

Emma’s lips twitched slightly. “I thought you were straight. Besides, I didn’t want to scare away my only friend by confessing my feelings for her. I didn’t—I couldn’t lose you because of that.”

“Oh, Emma,” Alyssa said, her whole body softening. She stepped forward again before suddenly turning unsure. “Can I hug you?”

Emma nodded, and then suddenly Alyssa’s arms were around her middle and their bodies were pressed together. But, this time, Emma’s mind was mercifully blank. There was only a strange calm that settled over them both, and Emma’s hands clung to her own arms where they were settled around Alyssa’s shoulders, burrowing her head into the crook of Alyssa’s neck. She smelled like sweat, but Emma didn’t mind.

“This has been a weird day,” she mumbled into Alyssa’s neck, hearing her laugh a little in response.

“A complete mess,” Alyssa groaned in agreement. “And _so _far from my plan.”

“Why, what was your plan?”

Alyssa pulled back from the hug slightly, arms still wrapped around Emma’s waist, biting down on her bottom lip before she spoke. “After my season ended, I was going to go up to you once the cameras were off me and tell you how I felt,” she said quietly. “And then, if you felt the same, I was going to kiss you.”

Emma felt her cheeks flush with heat. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Alyssa smiled ruefully. “Why did you have to go and say things that made me want to kiss you even more than usual?”

“I—I—” Emma spluttered incoherently for a few seconds before taking a steadying breath. “I do that?”

“All the time,” Alyssa admitted.

“Pinch me,” Emma muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“I wanna make sure this is actually happening,” Emma said, smiling a little when Alyssa laughed. “No, seriously. I was… I was okay not knowing if you liked me back. It was almost simpler, because feelings always make things complicated. If you found out I liked you, and didn’t feel the same, it probably would’ve broken me. So I was happy enough not knowing.”

“Happy enough,” Alyssa repeated. “And what about now? Now that you know I feel the same?”

“I feel…” Emma trailed off, mulling it over, because it was like her brain had stopped working as soon as she’d kissed Alyssa. “I feel a lot of things. Um, disbelief is a big one. Hopeful. Guilty.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

Emma shrugged. “You can’t have any distractions. And I think this definitely counts as a distraction.”

“That’s not your fault,” Alyssa insisted. “I just… I don’t know where we go from here.”

Emma contemplated it for a few moments. She knew she wanted to be with Alyssa, more than anything in the world, but she also knew that their timing wasn’t great. Nothing could happen between them until after National Finals. Suddenly, an idea struck her.

“Stick to your plan,” Emma said softly. “After your season is over, at whatever point during the competition that is, come up to me and tell me how you feel.”

“But you already know how I feel,” Alyssa said, furrowing her brow adorably. “I just practically spilled my guts to you in a smelly locker room.”

“I can always hear it again,” Emma said. “Really, I’m happy to make that sacrifice.”

Alyssa snorted. “Shut up.”

Emma wanted so badly to reply that maybe Alyssa should make her shut up. But she couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. Instead, she simply brought a trembling hand around to cup Alyssa’s cheek.

“I’ll tell you that I feel the same,” she said. “And then, you’ll kiss me. If you still want to, of course.”

Alyssa leaned into her touch. “Oh, I’ll definitely still want to.”

“Good,” Emma said, her grin threatening to split her face. “But until then, you’ve got some ass to kick.”

* * *

It was strange, carrying on as if nothing had changed between her and Alyssa.

When Emma looked at her, she had to pretend like Alyssa didn’t know how she felt about her. She had to pretend that she didn’t know that Alyssa felt the same way about her. She had to pretend that they hadn’t kissed.

Emma was still having a hard time processing what had actually happened that day in the locker room. It still kind of felt like a weird fever dream of sorts, because there was no way in hell that Alyssa could ever have feelings for her; had planned to kiss her after Nationals.

And yet, the way she would sometimes catch Alyssa staring at her… no, it was real.

The date of their flight to Vegas crept up on them way too quickly, and suddenly the three of them were boarding the plane and Emma could tell that Alyssa was trying to keep her nerves at bay. Not nerves about flying or anything like that, but Emma knew that this was when everything became a reality for Alyssa. She was really about to go up against the toughest courses the show had to offer.

Since Alyssa had booked her flight weeks before Emma and Betsy, her seat was separate to theirs. Emma couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t disappointing, but it was only four hours. She could survive four hours away from Alyssa and, besides, she knew that Alyssa would need to focus. Instead, Emma chatted to her grandma for the duration of the flight, listening with more interest than she would’ve three months ago about what she should expect from the four stages.

Okay, so she still didn’t really like _American Ninja Warrior_, but maybe it had grown on her a little. For some reason.

Emma and Betsy’s hotel room in Las Vegas was just down the hall from Alyssa’s, meaning that the three of them could hang out as much or as little as Alyssa wanted. Or at least Emma and Alyssa could hang out, because as soon as Emma turned her back on her grandmother, she had vanished into the crowd of athletes catching up with each other in the hotel lobby.

“Oh, God,” Emma muttered, finally locating her grandma only to see her already talking the ear off one of her favorite ninjas. “Bringing her was a mistake.”

“Let her be,” Alyssa said with a laugh, coming to stand at Emma’s shoulder. “A lot of the bigger names here are used to being public figures. They can handle themselves.”

“Are you allowed to see the course yet?” Emma asked.

Alyssa shook her head. “Not until tomorrow. Besides, it’s getting late and all I want to do right now is get into my pyjamas and sleep. I’ll scope out Stage One with everyone else tomorrow.”

* * *

Emma woke up in the middle of the night to her phone ringing on the bedside table.

Groaning, Emma didn’t bother putting on her glasses before picking the phone up and answering. She felt dumb for forgetting to silence it overnight, but her grandma was already awake next to her so there was little point going out into the hall.

“Hello?”

“Emma?”

It was Alyssa. But there was something off. “What’s wrong?”

“I, uh, had a nightmare,” Alyssa said quietly. Emma heard her sniff. “I’m sorry, I woke you up, I shouldn’t have—”

“Hey, Alyssa, it’s okay,” Emma said, closing her eyes. “How about I come to your room so we can talk about it?”

“Only if you’re sure,” Alyssa said, but the vulnerability hope in her voice made up Emma’s mind immediately.

“I’m sure,” she said. “I’ll be there in less than two minutes.”

“Okay,” Alyssa whispered. “Thank you.”

The line went dead, and Emma sat up. She grabbed her glasses, although putting them on did almost nothing in the dark of the room. She checked the time on her phone. 2:17am.

“Remember to take a key card,” Betsy mumbled from beside her. “I’m not leaving this bed to let you back in.”

“Got it,” Emma said, grabbing one of the cards and pulling the covers back. “I’ll be quiet when I come back.”

“Sure,” Betsy said, already drifting off again.

Emma smiled at her before getting out of bed and padding over to the door. She slipped out into the hall, hurrying along until she got to the door that she knew was Alyssa’s. Emma knocked quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone; the hotel was quiet despite the fact that this whole city was a party during the night, after all. Almost immediately, the door opened to reveal Alyssa. Her eyes were red-rimmed, like she’d been crying, and Emma’s heart broke just a little bit.

“Hey,” Alyssa murmured, putting on a brave front that crumpled as soon as Emma stepped inside and pulled her into a hug, letting the door close behind them.

“It’s alright,” Emma whispered into her hair. “Whatever happened, it was just a dream.”

Alyssa’s hands clung onto the back of Emma’s t-shirt. “It was—they all said I didn’t deserve to be here. That it was just beginner’s luck, even though I qualified just like them.”

“Nobody thinks that,” Emma reassured her.

“I know,” Alyssa said. “I _know _that, deep down. It was just a s-stupid thought that I had before I went to sleep and—and—”

Emma shushed her gently, pulling back from the hug to wipe the stray tears that had started to roll down Alyssa’s cheeks. “Remember our talk?”

Alyssa’s eyes went wide. “Which part?”

“I, um, the bit about you being extraordinary,” Emma said, hoping it was too dark for Alyssa to see the blush on her cheeks.

Alyssa nodded. “I remember. I actually think about it a lot.”

“Well, keep thinking about it,” Emma said. “Someone really smart once told me that half of the battle is believing you can do it. If you don’t think you can make it up the Warped Wall, then you’ll never get to the top.”

“That is smart,” Alyssa said, her lips pulling up into a small smile.

“You know you can do it,” Emma said softly. “Your subconscious is just being an asshole.”

Alyssa laughed. “Yeah, what the fuck is that about?”

“I don’t know,” Emma said, laughing along with her. “Come on, you need to get some rest before tomorrow.”

Alyssa allowed herself to be led over to her bed, sitting down on the edge with a tired sigh. She looked up at Emma, the only light coming from the lamp on the bedside table and making her eyes shine. Emma swallowed. Alyssa really was the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen in her life.

“Can you stay?” Alyssa asked, so quietly that Emma almost didn’t hear her. “Just for a little while?”

“Yeah,” Emma breathed. She knew she’d stay forever, if that’s what Alyssa wanted.

Alyssa practically sagged with relief, getting under the lightweight sheets on one side of the bed. Emma walked around to the other side, dumping her key card and phone on the bedside table as she climbed into bed beside her. There was an awkward moment where they were just sitting side by side, and then Emma steeled herself and opened her arms up. Alyssa immediately sank into her embrace, the two of them manoeuvring until they were mostly lying down.

Emma’s heart felt like it might just burst out of her chest, especially when she chanced a glance down to see Alyssa’s head resting on her sternum. She felt a nose pressed against the side of her neck, the slow exhales threatening to make her shiver. So much for no distractions.

Although, maybe this was exactly the kind of distraction that could be good for Alyssa after a nightmare.

“Em?”

Emma’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment. “Yeah?”

“Will you…” Alyssa trailed off. “Will you be my sideline person?”

It felt as if all the air had been knocked out of Emma’s lungs. It was a simple question, but what it meant felt kind of monumental. Because this was Alyssa inviting her to be front and center. This was Alyssa placing Emma as her most important person, and it was a little overwhelming. Emma never in her life thought she would get choked up over something related to this television show.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’d love to.”

“Thank you,” Alyssa mumbled sleepily. “It—It means a lot.”

“I know,” Emma whispered. “I know it does.”

There was silence for a moment, Emma’s brain starting to spin. Then, Alyssa spoke.

“I think about our talk a lot,” she said again.

“Do you?”

“Yeah. All of it,” Alyssa said.

Emma’s breath caught for a moment, and she hoped Alyssa hadn’t noticed. “Oh?”

“You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, Emma Nolan,” Alyssa said around a yawn, snuggling further into her. “I’m so lucky we found each other.”

_We found each other._

Emma took a shaky breath, because it was completely true. It sounded cliché even in her own head, but she hadn’t known that she’d been searching for exactly what Alyssa had brought to her life. She’d never felt like this about anyone before, and somewhere in the back of her mind, a teasing voice told her that she might never feel like this about anyone ever again.

Somewhere even further back in her mind, Emma knew that – if that was the case – she’d be happy with it.

God, what was happening? She hadn’t even known Alyssa for three months and she was already—

Emma stopped the thought quickly, because it was surely far too soon to be thinking what she was thinking. Right? Alyssa’s proximity was probably clouding her head. Emma felt Alyssa’s arms slacken slightly around her; heard her breathing start to even out as she drifted off.

She should probably leave now.

Emma glanced down at Alyssa again, a smile coming unbidden to her face when she saw how peaceful she looked in her sleep. Surely a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt. Emma shifted to get more comfortable, succumbing to Alyssa’s warmth and stifling a yawn of her own.

Just five more minutes.

* * *

Emma didn’t know if she’d ever been this comfortable.

She woke up, slowly, sighing as she started to come fully back into consciousness. She blinked her eyes open, her brain grinding to a halt when she saw the mess of dark curls inches away from her face. It took her a lot longer than it should’ve to put the pieces together but, when she did, her eyes widened in a way that was probably comical.

She was still in Alyssa’s room. In Alyssa’s bed. Cuddled together with the girl she was definitely falling for, quicker than she ever thought was possible. Oh, God.

Emma didn’t know what to do. Alyssa had only asked her to stay for a little while, and Emma had gone and fallen asleep. Trying to blink the world back into focus and frowning when things were still mostly blurry, Emma wondered if she should try and extricate herself from Alyssa’s grip and sneak out.

Alyssa shifted, groaning slightly and cracking one eye open. No such luck.

“Hey,” Emma said, clearing her throat when her voice came out hoarse.

Alyssa smiled up at her softly. “Morning.”

“I’m so sorry,” Emma said, suddenly realizing why her vision wasn’t clear. “Wait, where are my glasses?”

“On the bedside table,” Alyssa said calmly. “I thought it probably wouldn’t do you any good sleeping in them.”

The cogs in Emma’s brain turned painstakingly slowly, until she came to the conclusion that Alyssa had removed her glasses at some point during the night. Which meant she had been awake at some point, and had been aware from then that Emma had fallen asleep.

“Sorry,” Emma said again. “For falling asleep, I mean.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Alyssa said immediately, her voice quiet. “I… I actually don’t remember the last time I only woke up once during the night.”

“Well, technically, you woke up twice,” Emma pointed out dumbly.

“But only once when you were here,” Alyssa said. “I guess I was comfortable.”

Emma vaguely remembered Alyssa mentioning having trouble sleeping most nights. It wasn’t something she talked about often, clearly considering it normal for her, but the more Emma thought back, the more she recalled Alyssa mentioning waking up multiple times every night. The thought that she had helped Alyssa sleep better made Emma feel almost uncomfortably warm.

“I should go back to my room,” Emma mumbled, because leaving was preferable to spilling her feelings the day of the competition.

“Yeah,” Alyssa said, although she sounded disappointed. “Betsy might be worried.”

* * *

Betsy was not worried.

“Please, as if I was going to complain about having that queen-sized bed all to myself,” she said as she waved off Emma’s apology. “Besides, I knew where you were.”

“Thanks for being so understanding,” Emma said, sighing in relief.

“You’re an adult,” her grandma said. “What you do and who you do it with is not my business.”

Emma flushed red. “I—I don’t know what you think happened, but—”

“I’m messing with you,” Betsy laughed, turning genuine a moment later. “I know how you feel about her, sweetheart, and I’m pretty sure I know how she feels about you.”

“It’s… complicated, right now,” Emma said evasively.

“I hope it uncomplicates itself soon,” Betsy said, putting a bony hand on Emma’s shoulder.

“So do I.”

* * *

Stage One, although the easiest of the four stages in Las Vegas, looked near impossible from where Emma was standing. One obstacle in particular, which was called the Double Dipper according to Alyssa, looked terrifying. Apparently it had been the cause of a broken ankle the previous season, and Emma’s heart seized painfully at the thought of something like that happening to Alyssa.

Staring up at the tracks that fell away sharply, a big gap between the two sets, Emma felt a soft hand slip into her own. Surprised, she looked over to find Alyssa stood by her side, eyes firmly fixed on the Double Dipper. Only the slightly bashful smile on her face gave her real feelings away. Emma squeezed her hand, remembering all the amazing things she’d seen Alyssa do in training. She was going to be just fine.

The nerves returned steadily throughout the day, however, and by the time night fell Emma was a complete wreck. She made her way to the stands early so that she didn’t start to affect Alyssa, paying far more attention to the competition than she had done back in Indianapolis.

Out of about one hundred competitors, Alyssa was number forty-two to run, which meant Emma had to watch forty-one men and women attempt the course before her. On the plus side, it meant that Alyssa would have forty-one examples of what to do, or not do, depending on how these runs panned out.

There were some truly spectacular wipeouts, especially on the Double Dipper and the obstacle before it – the Propeller Bar. According to Betsy, the Propeller Bar had been a staple of Stage One for years, and never failed to provide some quality entertainment. God, some of these obstacles looked so high up.

The 2:25 minute time limit meant that they got through the running order pretty quickly, but it still felt like an eternity before it was Alyssa’s turn. Once competitor number forty-one had taken a dip in one of the water tanks midway through the course, Emma made her way down to the crew member Alyssa had introduced her to earlier.

He recognized her as Alyssa’s chosen ‘sideline person’ and let her through to the other side of the barriers. All of a sudden, there was a camera filming her, and Emma resisted the urge to shrink away. This wasn’t about her. This was about being there to support Alyssa.

“Next up is perhaps one of the most surprising stars to come out of the qualifying rounds,” one of the commentators said. Emma still hadn’t bothered to learn either of their names.

“This is her first time on _American Ninja Warrior_, and she’s already been generating a lot of hype,” the other agreed. “From Indianapolis, this is nineteen year old Alyssa Greene!”

Emma grinned as she took in Alyssa’s complete lack of reaction once more. People were already cheering wildly for her in the stands; Alyssa had definitely made an impression on people. Her qualifying wouldn’t even air until next week, but people had clearly already heard good things about her.

Alyssa got her countdown, and then she was pushing off into a powerful sprint and bounding through the first obstacle, made up of angled arrowhead-shaped steps. Like qualifying, she grabbed a rope to swing to the other side of the water tank. Wasting no time after obstacle one, Alyssa ran at the trampette that would launch her into the air towards the Propeller Bar.

Emma held her breath as Alyssa’s legs kicked out in mid-air, grabbing the wide wooden beam with her hands and resting her forearms on top of it as she landed. The bar rotated towards another rope, and Alyssa looked focused as she reached out to take it with one hand.

“Alyssa Greene swings to dry land, and she’ll be glad to have gotten the first challenge out of the way,” one of the commentators said.

“Yes, the Propeller Bar is notoriously difficult for our shorter athletes,” the other commentator agreed. “But this next obstacle is notoriously difficult for just about everyone.”

It was the Double Dipper that they were referring to, talking as Alyssa bounded up the three huge steps towards the start of this wild rollercoaster ride of an obstacle. She reached out to grab the first metal bar in a switch grip – one hand facing towards her and the other facing away – which apparently gave her more control over it. Not that Emma really understood.

She ignored the camera capturing her every reaction. “Come on,” she muttered under her breath.

Alyssa puffed out a quick breath before sliding the bar forwards down the track. All of a sudden her feet had left the floor and she was racing downhill. The track curved upwards towards the gap, and Emma watched in disbelief as Alyssa released the bar just before it hit the end and flew through the air.

Alyssa grabbed hold of the second bar, holding on tight and setting it in motion towards the end of the obstacle. The second set of tracks was shorter and had a smaller upwards curve at the end, with a sizeable gap between the end of the obstacle and the crash mat on the other side of the water.

“And she’s through!”

Alyssa, obviously aware of the time limit, kept running towards the Jumping Spider. Emma knew she’d faced a similar obstacle in qualifying, and therefore wasn’t worried about this one. Sure enough, Alyssa stuck the landing in the chute, bracing herself with her hands and feet before easily working her way through the chute and dropping to safety on the other side.

“She’s on track to beat the clock,” one of the commentators reported. “She just needs to stay dry.”

Emma’s heart almost stopped when Alyssa dismounted from the next obstacle, the tire she landed on spinning backwards on her and almost dumping her into the water below. Alyssa scrambled forwards desperately, practically throwing herself off the tire and onwards. Emma put a hand over her chest, feeling her heart still beating and knowing that Alyssa hadn’t quite killed her yet.

The Warped Wall on Stage One was tougher than the one in qualifying, what with its much shorter run up, but Alyssa’s legs were strong enough to get her to the top at the first attempt. Emma refused to let her mind wander as she thought about just how strong Alyssa’s legs were, because she was literally being recorded right now.

She was probably the most boring sideline person in the world to the camera crew, because she was pretty quiet and focused, much like Alyssa herself. Emma knew there was no point in yelling, because she didn’t want to accidentally pull Alyssa’s concentration away from the task at hand. Instead, she just wrung her hands together as she watched and hoped.

“Next up is the balance obstacle, the Razor Beams,” one commentator said as Alyssa paused for a second to regain complete control over her body.

Alyssa had told Emma earlier that the Razor Beams looked easier than the balance obstacle she’d done in qualifying, but Emma knew that she still wasn’t going to make the mistake of underestimating this challenge. Sure enough, Alyssa ran right across the top of them, not even pausing before she made the jump to Twist & Fly.

Emma knew she was a little concerned about this one, because it was reminiscent of the obstacle that had taken her out on the City Finals course. But Emma also knew that Alyssa had been training relentlessly on her body control when it came to free-spinning obstacles like this, and she couldn’t help but jump up and down a little when Alyssa made the transfer between the two sets of handles look easier than most of the ten competitors that had completed the course before her tonight.

With twenty seconds still left on the clock, Alyssa made the leap to the cargo net, climbing up to the top and dragging her body over the summit. She scrambled to her feet and slammed her hand down on the red buzzer just before the ten second warning, a huge grin finally splitting her face as she tipped her head back and laughed.

Emma was bursting with pride. She knew that the smile on her face could be described kindly as ‘ridiculously goofy’, but she didn’t care, because Alyssa had completed Stage One at her very first attempt, and she knew what that would mean to her on a personal level.

Alyssa spotted her from thirty feet in the air, waving down at her excitedly. Emma bit her lip, knowing how much adoration must be visible in her eyes as she gazed up at Alyssa. She wrapped her arms around her own body to stop herself from doing something dumb like blowing a kiss, watching until Alyssa disappeared from view down the back of the tower.

Emma was finally excused from the entrapment of the camera, racing away immediately to intercept Alyssa on her way back to the stands. It wasn’t long before she spotted Alyssa speeding towards her, thick ponytail bouncing as she ran. Emma couldn’t help it – she threw herself at Alyssa, trusting her to catch her as she practically tackled her in a flying hug.

She just about stopped herself from wrapping her legs around Alyssa’s waist, but it was a close call. Instead, she just laughed as Alyssa staggered back slightly before recovering and clinging onto her so tightly that it was a wonder either of them could breathe.

“You did it, you did it!” Emma yelled.

“I did it,” Alyssa gasped into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Holy shit!”

“One down, three to go,” Emma squealed, pulling her head back to take in Alyssa’s expression.

“I can’t believe it,” Alyssa said giddily.

Emma grinned at her. “Well, you better.”

Alyssa ducked her head almost shyly, and Emma’s urge to kiss her was almost overwhelming. God, all she wanted to do was lean in and capture the bottom lip that Alyssa was currently biting down on, and kiss her for all she was worth, but she couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. Because Alyssa’s season was far from over, and so Emma was going to wait.

Instead, she leaned her forehead against Alyssa’s, hoping that she knew just what was on Emma’s mind right now. Alyssa’s stuttered breath suggested she at least got the gist of it.

“Emma, I—” she started, before swiftly cutting herself off, and Emma wondered if Alyssa was having the same problem she was with waiting for the right moment.

“I know,” Emma whispered reassuringly. “I know.”

* * *

There was only one slight problem that arose from Alyssa’s completion of Stage One.

It wasn’t that they’d have to wait another day or two for anything to happen between them, or anything like that, because Emma was happy to wait a little longer. No, it was the fact that seeing Alyssa crush the course the way she had, and react as she had when Emma had seen her afterwards, had only confirmed what Emma thought she’d been feeling the previous night.

And it scared her.

Things had been okay for the past week, because Emma knew that she liked Alyssa, and that Alyssa liked her. But now that a certain word had crossed Emma’s mind, she was back to not knowing if Alyssa felt the same way she did.

As soon as the possibility of _love _had entered Emma’s brain, she’d been terrified.

She didn’t want to lie to Alyssa about how deep her feelings went, but she also didn’t want to scare her off by telling her what she was starting to feel before they’d even gone on a date. So, when Alyssa went ahead with her plan, Emma didn’t know what she was going to say.

It was another reason she hoped Alyssa would go all the way to the end of this competition, besides the obvious; it gave her more time to think.

Emma intended to do some of this thinking that night, after the final competitor had run Stage One and filming had stopped for the day. It was three in the morning, and Emma was exhausted, so she couldn’t even imagine how tired Alyssa was. The two of them, along with a still somehow wide-awake Betsy, walked back to the hotel in comfortable silence. When they dropped Alyssa off at her room, Emma was more than a little surprised when Alyssa’s hand shot out to grab her wrist.

“Can we sleep together again tonight?”

Emma choked, flashing back to the first time Alyssa had accidentally said something like this the day after they met, only so much had changed in the meantime. Betsy cackled, and Emma hurried to explain.

“We didn’t—it’s not—”

“Oh,” Alyssa’s tired eyes went wide. “Oh, God, I didn’t mean… we just fell asleep together and I woke up really rested and I guess I just want that again but—”

“Girls, girls,” Betsy said, still laughing. “Breathe. And then try again.”

Emma took a deep breath; hearing Alyssa do the same. Cheeks still red, Emma turned to face her, clearing her throat a little nervously.

“Emma,” Alyssa started quietly. “I slept really well with you there last night and I was wondering if you wanted to sleep in my room again tonight. It’s okay if you don’t.”

“I want to,” Emma said, against what was probably her better judgement. “I, um, slept really well, too.”

Alyssa still looked embarrassed, but her eyes crinkled adorably as she smiled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Emma said. “I just… let me change into my pyjamas and I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” Alyssa nodded. “Great. Cool.”

And that’s how, ten minutes later, Emma found herself cuddled in bed with Alyssa for the second night in a row, wondering what the hell she was going to say when the moment came, and hoping to a God she didn’t really believe in that she wouldn’t somehow screw it up.

* * *

“Are you ready?” Emma asked, hands resting lightly on Alyssa’s shoulders.

Alyssa looked back at her determinedly. “As I’ll ever be.”

“Then go crush it,” Emma said, a grin taking over her face as she took a step back.

Alyssa was dressed in the same clothes as she had been the first time Emma saw her – black gym leggings and a purple tank top, but the muscles in her arms and shoulders were even more defined than they had been ten weeks ago, and Emma also had the added bonus of knowing what her abs looked like, too.

But besides the physical developments, it was the serenity in Alyssa’s eyes that was the biggest change. Emma had seen it last night on Stage One, too, like Alyssa had finally realized that win or lose, she deserved her spot here.

Out of twenty-seven competitors who had made it through to Stage Two, Alyssa was thirteenth in the running order. Emma wasn’t superstitious, and neither was Alyssa, but Emma still found herself crossing her fingers that it wouldn’t prove to be unlucky.

When Alyssa’s time came, nobody had completed the course yet. One had gotten close, only to run out of time just before the final obstacle. Emma felt bad for him, but her mind was definitely elsewhere. Once again, she made her way down to the front towards the sidelines and, once again, she was stood with a camera far too close to her for her liking. She loved getting to be on the sidelines for Alyssa, and the unobstructed view was incredible, but she wasn’t fond of the camera.

“Can we start calling this young woman a prodigy yet?” one commentator wondered out loud as Alyssa stepped up to the start line.

“I think we can,” the other said. “One of only two women to make it through to Stage Two, this is Alyssa Greene.”

Emma just barely contained her eyeroll. Thankfully, the countdown distracted her enough to put the commentator’s words out of her mind, and then Alyssa was taking a deep breath and pushing off into a run towards the first obstacle, Epic Catch and Release.

Alyssa leapt off the platform, grabbing the bar that was perpendicular to her and using her momentum to push it forwards into the locking mechanism in one swing. That was good, because there were some people who had needed an extra swing or two, and it only wasted time and energy that they’d ended up needing later in the course.

Reaching out to grab the second of the two bars, Alyssa secured her hands around it before pulling her body back to unhook it from the locking mechanism. As the bar swung forwards and then backwards, Alyssa worked her way hand over hand towards the end, timing her dismount to give herself the best chance of making it onto the crash pad. She stuck the landing, and Emma jumped a little as a dramatic column of flame shot into the air at the edge of the course to mark the completion of the obstacle.

Really, sometimes this show was just plain unnecessary.

But Alyssa was about to start the Criss Cross Salmon Ladder, so Emma’s attention was firmly back on her. She’d bore witness to Alyssa training on the Salmon Ladder a few times over the recent months, and she swore that she’d never been more of a lesbian in those moments. It was shallow, and she’d felt like a total creep… but Alyssa was really, _really _hot when she did the Salmon Ladder.

Now, Alyssa jumped the bar up two rungs with ease, spinning around underneath so that she was facing the opposite direction. She built up a swing using her lower body, and Emma just about tore her gaze away from Alyssa’s ass to watch as she flew through the air and landed the bar on one of the rungs on the other side of the tower.

Alyssa skipped the bar up two more rungs, kipping her whole body up efficiently as she did so, before turning around and building a swing once more. Her tank top covered her abs, but Emma still knew the exact moment they flexed as she prepared to lache. Her mouth went dry.

_You’re being filmed, you’re being filmed, you’re being filmed, _her brain reminded her.

Landing the bar on the top rung of the ladder, Alyssa reached out to begin the third obstacle. Emma didn’t know what it was called, and she also didn’t really understand it. Confusing as it was, she was fairly sure the objective was to swing one trapeze-like bar down and backwards, arcing up to land it in a cradle like some crazy reverse circus thing, and then reach out for another bar, turn around, and do the whole thing again but forwards.

Emma had seen a fair few athletes attempt it already tonight, and she still didn’t really get it.

“Can she figure it out?” one commentator asked dramatically. Emma wanted him to shut the hell up.

Alyssa dropped the first bar, looking like she was steeling herself for the blind landing. What she clearly hadn’t prepared for, though, was how quickly the bar would drop. Hanging beneath it as she was, arms straightened, the drop jolted her badly.

It happened in slow-motion to Emma; the way Alyssa’s fingers peeled off the bar. She made one more useless grab for it as she fell, but it was no use. Alyssa plummeted like a stone into the water below, the smacking sound accompanied by a sharp gasp from the crowd.

Emma clapped her hands over her mouth to muffle a yell. She relaxed slightly when Alyssa’s head broke the surface of the water and she sent a thumbs-up to the watching crowd. Despite the hard fall, she was okay.

Alyssa swam to the edge of the giant pool which was under the Stage Two course, Emma darting forward to meet her on dry land. Alyssa had a rueful grin on her face as she looked up at Emma, wincing just slightly as she used Emma’s outstretched hand to pull herself out of the water.

Immediately, Emma was scanning Alyssa’s body for signs of injury. “Are you hurt?”

“I don’t think so,” Alyssa said, in what she clearly hoped was a reassuring voice. “I mean, I belly flopped pretty hard, but I think I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Emma said, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “And are you… how do you feel?”

“I feel good,” Alyssa said, her eyes sparkling. “Better than I thought I would when this all ended.”

“You’re a fucking badass,” Emma told her proudly, and Alyssa grinned at her.

“Come on,” she said suddenly, nodding to the crew that were approaching them. “We better move.”

Alyssa took the proffered towel from a crew member, grabbing Emma’s hand and practically dragging her from the course. She was stopped by the third member of the presenting team for an interview, answering questions quickly as Emma stood just out of frame. It made her smile, watching Alyssa speak, because the presenter clearly didn’t realize that she was in a hurry to get through the interview.

Once it was over, Alyssa grabbed Emma’s hand again. Emma intertwined their fingers, watching Alyssa smile as she did so. Holding Alyssa’s hand felt like second nature to Emma, even though they hadn’t exactly done it a lot before, and it was enough to send a weird thrill through her body.

Alyssa led her behind the stands, turning to face her with an easy smile on her face.

“Why are you smiling so hard?” Emma wondered aloud. “You just crashed out of the competition.”

Alyssa shrugged. “There’s always next year.”

“Do they have qualifiers in New York?” Emma asked, grinning as she remembered where she and Alyssa would both be ending up in just a couple of months’ time.

“They better,” Alyssa said. “Or I’m going to write them a very strongly worded letter.”

“Okay, miss Ivy League,” Emma teased, making Alyssa smile wider. “They’d be idiots to not select you for next year, at any rate.”

Alyssa hugged her, then, and Emma found herself not giving a single shit about Alyssa’s wet clothes soaking through her own dry ones, because all that mattered was the way she could feel Alyssa’s heartbeat speeding up as she trailed her fingers up and down her spine through her tank.

“So,” Emma started casually. “What do we do now?”

“There’s only one thing I want to do,” Alyssa whispered, drawing back far enough to look into Emma’s eyes.

Emma felt her own heart rate pick up, because this was it. This was the moment. God, she still didn’t know what she was going to say. Maybe she should just stick to the original plan, because surely they’d had enough uncertainty over the past ten weeks.

“Emma Nolan…” Alyssa started, biting her lip as she paused suddenly. Her eyes flicked back and forth between Emma’s own, a slow smile spreading across her face, and suddenly the words were spilling from Emma’s lips before she could stop them.

“I think I love you.”

Alyssa’s eyes went wide, and Emma wished for a swift death.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Emma opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She couldn’t take it back. And, if she was honest with herself, now that it was out there she didn’t want to take it back. Because as soon as she had spoken them aloud, she’d known them to be true.

“You—You ruined my plan,” Alyssa said in disbelief, but she didn’t look upset. Far from it, actually.

“Sorry,” Emma squeaked.

“I can’t believe you stole my thunder,” Alyssa said softly, one hand coming up to play with the hairs at the nape of Emma’s neck. “Emma, I think I love you, too.”

Emma’s brain glitched. “What?”

“Are you going to say that every time I admit my feelings for you?” Alyssa laughed gently. “I told you I’d been thinking about our talk a lot and, I don’t know, I guess I realized my feelings went deeper than a crush. Way deeper. I just didn’t know if you were on the same page.”

“How is it that we knew we had feelings for each other and still managed to surprise each other like this?” Emma scoffed breathlessly, almost wanting to laugh at it all.

Alyssa cupped Emma’s cheek with her free hand, eyes dropping to her lips. “Clearly we’re just that dumb.”

Emma smiled, leaning in at the same time as Alyssa did.

Their second kiss was gentler than the first had been, but Emma still felt as if she’d been struck by lightning. She held onto Alyssa’s waist tightly, like one or both of them might float away if she let go, kissing her like she’d wanted to for what felt both like an age and no time at all. Alyssa’s fingers scratched at the back of her neck and Emma kissed her firmer, tilting her head a little more and capturing Alyssa’s bottom lip between her own.

Alyssa’s thumb stroked over her cheek, her happy sigh turning into a gasp when Emma gently sucked on her bottom lip. A second later, Alyssa parted her lips, and Emma’s tongue slipped past and into her mouth. Fire roared in Emma’s chest when Alyssa moaned.

They kissed languidly, taking the time to memorize every inch of each other’s mouths, and Emma couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped her lips when she felt Alyssa’s tongue slide against her own. She’d never felt anything like this before, and she was instantly addicted to the way kissing Alyssa made her feel.

The water dripping from Alyssa’s hair and clothes formed little puddles around their feet, but Emma couldn’t care less. Alyssa clearly wasn’t cold, not if the way she pressed herself into Emma’s body as they kissed was any indication. Emma couldn’t say how long they were kissing for, stood out of sight behind the stands as the competition carried on around them, because her brain was occupied only by Alyssa.

“God, Emma,” Alyssa murmured against her lips, sending a flash of heat throughout Emma’s entire body. “Can we please go make out in my room?”

Emma laughed, the sound turning into a guttural moan as Alyssa attached her lips to her jawline instead. “Yes, please.”

She knew that things definitely weren’t going to go further than making out tonight – Alyssa was probably exhausted, aside from anything else – but there was definitely a lot to be said for the privacy that Alyssa’s hotel room would offer them. She grabbed Alyssa’s hands with her own, pulling back to gaze into her eyes for a long moment. Hair plastered to her forehead and still generally soaked to the bone from her fall into the water, Emma thought she’d never looked better.

“Are you happy with the way it all went?” Emma asked softly.

Alyssa simply smiled at her. “You know what? I wouldn’t change a thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!
> 
> like i said, this fic was a real challenge to write at times, but i'm so glad that i managed to finish it because i have literally been thinking about this idea for what feels like a lifetime.
> 
> if you wanted to leave a comment, it would absolutely make my day! feedback is honestly the biggest motivator ever, and there's so much stuff i want to write so it absolutely does make a difference :))


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